Recently I read a tag about writing 10 things that put you off or get your goat or are emotional atyachaars, at many blogs. No, I am not going to do the tag. Instead I am just going to focus on one habit of many people that irks me very much – Borrowing.
“Neither a borrower, nor a lender be; for loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.” ~William Shakespeare
I am quite possessive about my stuff. And I don’t like sharing them with people except those who are very close to me. This is because I just don’t trust them enough to take care of my stuff like I do. As for borrowing stuff, I feel shy and embarrassed if I have to borrow something. Even as a child, if I used to forget my eraser at home sometimes, I used to think what would the other kid think about me if I ask him/her for the eraser. Once my wallet was stolen in college and I was so hesitant to borrow Rs 50 from my colleague. But I had to as I had planned to get petrol in my scooty’s almost empty petrol tank that day. Next day I returned that amount promptly.
So I fail to understand how do people ask for stuff so easily and casually? I have had people ask for jewellery (even gold ones!), dresses, shoes, my Asterix collection, novels, mobile,money and what not. I have lived in hostel during my B.E. and borrowing is an important aspect of hostel life. And now my colleagues too suffer from this habit. The problem is I can’t be rude and refuse them straightaway.
As soon as I told I have bought a digicam, my colleague A says : “Please give it to me for two days”. I refused her politely. There was no way I could lend my Rs 17,000 worth new digicam to someone who hadn’t used even a simple Kodak camera ever! Another colleague M asked for two of my books and gave it to students without checking with me!! God knows in what condition those books are. The students have not returned them yet. 😦
Recently I got a Sony 4 GB mp3 player as a gift. Yesterday M asked for it to use on his upcoming trip to attend a wedding. I couldn’t outright refuse him but I didn’t quite say yes. Now I am in a dilemma and thinking of ways to refuse him. What if he loses it in the crowded home? What if he loses it on train? What if he lets his cousins or other friends use it and they lose it or damage it? What if he gets it scratched? Call me paranoid or distrustful or petty or even selfish but thats how I am when it comes to my stuff and other people. He has a N72 mobile and I think he can listen to quite a number of songs on that!!
I have started to feel that I can’t tell people about any new stuff I get without having them asking to borrow it from me!! And that goes for using stuff in front of them as well! 😦
So people please suggest some way or excuse so that I can tackle the situation diplomatically and manage to refuse M.