I, my head of department and my colleagues S and M were sitting at HoD’s room having a general chat when the topic diverted to marriage and wives.
HoD :- That day I was having some problem with my mobile. My wife solved the problem whereas I could not!! I didn’t think she can even use a mobile. You know one is lucky to have a simple wife.
M :- Oh yes sir! And in this matter I can say I am a very lucky man.
HoD :- What about you, S? When are you getting married?
S :- Parents are searching for a girl, sir.
HoD :- Good good. You should look for a simple girl. One who is not working and will look after your home and kids nicely. They are the best. In fact you should look for a girl from rural U.P. [my colleague S hails from rural U.P.]
M :- Yes sir. The farther is the girl’s home , the better she can concentrate in her in-laws place.
S :- Yes, I do not want to marry any working girl. It is all useless. Whole family, home and kids are ruined.
I asked my HoD something else then and changed the topic.
Imagine all this talk when I, a well qualified working girl, is sitting there. I didn’t open my mouth to protest then because it is no use convincing them. I have had many debates with them (my colleagues not HoD) over the years without any results. They are one of the most typical samples of orthodox, conventional and narrow minded men. And I believe a man convinced against his will, is unconvinced still.
I just have a few questions in my mind :-
# 1 What is the definition of a simple girl that many people use in their conversation, on their bio datas and in matrimonial ads? You know in the sentence – “wanted a simple homely girl etc etc”
# 2 Are higher qualifications inversely proportional to simplicity in a girl?
# 3 Do higher qualifications or being tech savvy or being street smart and not being a babe in the woods make girls crooked or something like that?
# 4 Are highly qualified working [i.e. those getting an income] girls less eligible for marriage and even less eligible for being homemakers?
# 5 Does a “simple” girl make a better mother and wife than any other types of girls/women?
# 6 Do kids having a earning mother fare badly in studies and in life?
# 7 Are girls supposed to just forget the place and the people with whom they spend at least 20 years of their life after getting married?
# 8 Why must girls stop being concerned about their parents and become more concerned about their in laws?
# 9 Why are daughter-in-laws expected to become equivalent to daughters for their in laws but son-in-laws can’t (and also are not expected to) become sons for their in laws?
What are your answers?
P.S. Yes I work with very sad people. Sigh!! 😦