Mother’s Love

No language can express the power, and beauty, and heroism, and majesty of a mother’s love. It shrinks not where man cowers, and grows stronger where man faints, and over wastes of worldly fortunes sends the radiance of its quenchless fidelity like a star. ~ Edwin Hubbell Chapin

Does your mother love you?

Does she care for you? Does she tend to you, comfort you, support you, provide for you, thinks for your well-being and comfort before hers ? Be the tree providing shade in the harsh sun called problems and difficulties which life gives to you?

Are you a mother and do you love your kids?

Does you care for them? Do you tend to them, comfort them, support them, provide for them, think for their well-being and comfort before yours? Be the tree providing shade in the harsh sun called problems and difficulties which life gives to your kids?

Is your mother’s love or your love for your child/children unconditional, instinctual, selfless, all-encompassing, forever ?

Does it depend on a mother’s age or salary or height or weight or color or race or nationality or clothes? Is it measurable, comparable, quantifiable?

A mother’s love is too broad, too deep a concept to be explained..it can only be felt, given and received and I don’t think it depends on any damn thing in the world. So I fail to understand the meaning of this message that is doing rounds on the Internet, being shared on Facebook and being “Liked” by people!!  I came upon it when an ex-colleague, a PhD in physics nonetheless, shared this with an extra comment “Fact of Future”. :|

I am so appalled by the absurdity of the message and at the mentality of the people liking it and supporting it. A guy had commented on the photo’s original comment thread, agreeing with message ” Ek aurat jeans me maa nahi maal lagti hai, asli maa to sirf sari pehenti hai, yehi hamari bharatiya sanskriti hai.:roll: :evil:  And these is the common public not politicians who are always doing the foot in mouth stuff.

In my opinion, “maa ka aanchal” signifies her lap or her arm cradle which practically speaking has nothing to do with a pallu or dupatta. I asked so many questions on mother’s love to clear my understanding of the concept and I think a mother’s love, of all the things under the sun, DOES NOT depend on her clothes. Do mothers of the rest of world; where women never wore or wear sarees and salwar kurtas; love their children any less than, lets say, India?

And I have had it with “Bharatiya Sanskriti (Indian Heritage)” and the “Denim Problem” of Indian men. What the hell is the matter? I think you, who believes women should not wear jeans, jeans makes a woman appear “hot/sexy/available/inviting”, women should follow a dress code set by you, women who wear jeans are not good mothers and that mother’s love depends on her dressing, should be sent to an asylum for such deranged thinking and restricted because you are a danger to women and law and order. Who knows, you may get “provoked” by some poor girl in jeans and t-shirt one fine day and end up molesting and raping her!

Going by that picture, why no one speaks about a dress code for the fathers? Is there no dress code or code of conduct for men as per Bharatiya Sanskriti? Why are all the rules and morals for women? Does ogling/eve teasing/molesting/raping/beating/even TOUCHING YOURSELF WHILE TALKING to a woman signify Indian Heritage?

As the etymology of the idiom “wear the pants” itself signifies, men associate control with their trousers. I suspect all this hullabaloo about jeans in India actually stems from a deep-rooted insecurity in the minds of Indian men about losing their “manhood”/identity which they believe depends on who wears the pants in their household literally. They are jealous that not only women are taking over in every field but now also their clothing! There is nothing exclusive left for them now! :D

Bah! The message is so wrong and moronic at so many levels and yet there are so many people, both men and women, in our society, educated and otherwise, who really do hold these beliefs in their shrunken, Indian heritage stricken, prejudiced minds that it is futile to rant about any further. No matter how much we shout, protest, rant, blog, comment or tweet; those who believe will continue to do so. Such are the shackles of such beliefs. There were few women on the original comment thread but not a single woman had protested. Many just ignore such stuff and comments…because it takes an effort to protest and we know in our hearts, no matter how much we argue, we can’t wipe out all such beliefs suddenly. But we should not sit quiet…with continuous struggle comes a change. If we don’t discuss and agree/disagree these issues openly, such statements and comments will continue to grow. Hence, the argument continues. The other thing we can do to bring about a change is to teach our future generations the right things.

The finest clothing made is a person’s skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this. ~ Mark Twain

P.S. I reacted strongly on that picture and my ex-colleague after giving a stupid justification removed the picture. I must also mention there were 1-2 men who had protested in the original comment thread. May there be more like them. Also got reminded of this ad..lovely ad!

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38 thoughts on “Mother’s Love

  1. stupid message, well at least you know what sort of mentality that person has who put this up..

    GLad you took it up , made me angry too reading it ..

    they say god got busy handling everything so he made MOTHER..

  2. omg the morons who made that message and those who supported it…i wear skirts and trousers all the time..and my daughter is not deprived from mothers love…
    Ma ka aanchal is not about pallu its about love in every thing she does…

  3. oh tell me about it…I had recieved this as an sms targetting me particularly and you won’t beileve from whom…a woman!!! I felt so stupid about this message…I did a post to oto vent out….but now I just laughat it…the world is full of self professed judges!!! hmmpf

  4. There is another issue (seemingly unrelated) that women don’t speak about – How they receive all that love and attention and ignore the same mother (whether in jeans or in salwar or in saree), during old age. Of course, men do it too. Do you think if mothers wear jeans, these people are going to do anything different?

    I would love to see all these people give all the love and attention to their children and find that they are ignored very similarly during old age. Yes, the law of Karma catches up. People will pay back with interest. And it’s not going to be different for mothers whether they wear jeans or shorts or whatever.

    Destination Infinity

  5. Hahaha! And the other day I was asking my mom to buy a jeans for herself.
    The society is full of idiots.
    And what about fathers? Can a father wear jeans? Does he look like a maal in them? Can he wear shorts? Is it OK for him to wear western clothes without hurting our sick culture brigade?

  6. Of course jeans makes women look hot/sexy…. but that does not make them available/inviting. That is just stupid. Anyway, laugh at these people and forget it. Your kids will tell you what kind of mother you are, not other idiots…

    (btw, any plans as I had asked before? :P Nobody is there to call me mama(ji) yaar :( )

  7. So all those Indian mothers/ mothers in law, who abort girl babies, burn other people’s daughters, or leave their babies in garbage bins or poison or drown girl babies wear sarees and salwar kurta without ‘ma ka aanchal’?

  8. Great post and that ad was a classic. May use it for one of my posts these days, of course with your permission :)

    Frankly, big and small screens and their contents have been and are still being used to create mindsets.

    To my mind, anything even ‘patriarchy’ is not bad in itself. It’s just that the caliber of men has fallen and is still in free fall.

    Also it’s not about Indian men alone, this species is found everywhere, hence global dialogues, idioms, etc. In some places it’s subtler, that’s it.

    PS: Now that your blog is accepting my comments, I’m relieved. And this layout is great :)

    • thanks and you can use the pic! were you facing problems in commenting on my blog?? :O was that the reason for your long absence? ;) Let me check spam to see if any of your comments have gone into that. If you ever face any problem, just let me know!

  9. Someone ask the morons what they used for maa- ka anchal in the days before humans discovered weaving and making of cloth/sari?

    Really, Indians are a hypocritical and smug lot. They think they (Indians) are the only ones born of mothers and they alone are authorities on motherhood. I bet they think in the rest of the countries children grow on trees and are brought up by machines. Gah!
    A woman need be a mother only to her child and does not need to “look like one” (whatever that means) to morons such as these. If they think asli maa sirf sari pehenti hai, I’d probably ask him, “Okay, so I am not an asli maa. SO?” I mean, WTH.

  10. WTF?!! I absolutely Hate messages like this!! Putting women and especially mothers on pedastals is restricting! Stupid message!!
    Our society by-large is a hypocritical one!!

  11. Good that you wrote on this topic. I know we keep mocking the politicians for their idiotic statements but the sad part is nowadays, even the youth seem to be taking a step backward. In the name of protecting ‘our humble heritage’, there are more and more crimes and insults being traded. This particular picture is just silly – what does wearing jeans have to do with the love within a heart ?

  12. How true! We perpetuate old ideas and prejudices under the garb of “Indian heritage”. Besides “Motherlove” is a highly exaggerated concept. Mothers are human after all and deserve to have an identity apart from being a self sacrificing, all forgiving demi godess.

  13. Very nice post ! But then you have so many absurd posts doing the rounds on facebook and other social networking sites. I tend to ignore most of them but some of them do point to the underlying mentality of the person posting such posts ! And even more ridiculous is the ‘likes’ people do , without even understanding the content of the message.
    The other day, the post about Dara Singh passing away had actually so many likes !!!

  14. Pingback: Got tagged at 33! « The Motley Collection

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