Almost all of us have a comment policy on our blogs and any good blogger with decent content does not tolerate abusive language and ill mannered commentators on their blogs. So it can be assumed that there does exist a blog etiquette which every good blogger follows. What about etiquette on the recent social media phenomenon,otherwise known as Twitter? Unless you have been living under a rock, all of you must be aware of Twitter. Whether you are using it or not is a different issue. I had joined Twitter on 20th Feb 2008 but I became really active just few months back. Since then, I have observed few things about this social media as compared to a macro blogging platform like WordPress or Blogger. And these observations have forced me to raise a few questions about it.
Restaurants are now a flourishing, profitable and popular business in the country. Even celebrities have opened their restaurants. But I feel little attention is being paid to the recruitment of qualified,experienced and good waiters. By a good waiter I mean one who is smart, has a pleasing personality & good manners. Instead rude, argumentative and greedy waiters are being inflicted upon unsuspecting customers. I would like to share some of my experiences.
Our 1st year batch in hostel consisted of 17 girls and it was our first outing on our own after getting Freshers Welcome party. Just as we were entering a restaurant in Bhopal (thats where I did my B.E. from), a waiter came and started counting us like 1..2..3 !!!!!! As if we were some beggars lining up to eat at some temple to eat free food!!! We should have walked out but we didn’t…God knows why! The service was horribly late and the food wasn’t worth the price. (Shall I reveal the name of the restaurant to save any future customers?)
Few days back the college where I work was a center for candidates appearing in Pre-Medical Entrance Exam. The candidates ranged from general category to the reserved, urban to rural and intelligent enough to understand instructions to the dumbest. We, the lecturers, had been assigned as invigilators. Now, each floor has 4 bathrooms at its corner…for girls, ladies staff, gents staff and boys and has that written boldly in red at top. Before the exam started, I went to freshen myself in the ladies staff one and just as I went inside the already open door, a young boy (must be candidate) was answering nature’s call!!! I rushed out shouting “its ladies bathroom” and went straight to the assigned exam room.. [Yeah laugh at my plight!!] Thank God he had his back towards me!!!
Later in retrospect, I thought why was I feeling embarrassed with no fault of mine and I was disgusted at the non existence of the feeling of shame in most Indian Males (or maybe all males of world). Even if the boy had entered the wrong bathroom and didn’t even know that there are separate facilities in cities/colleges; still he should have locked the door not out of manners or etiquette but out of shame. As I analyzed further, I remembered the common sight of men(any age group) answering nature’s call by roadside or on a wall and mostly not hidden from view. For pictorial depiction you can see here.
One may argue that maybe men have less bladder control than women but anatomically speaking women are supposed to have less bladder control. But do we see women sitting on road side? Maybe the poor and illiterate women are seen but males of any class & any age can be seen. They consider it their birthright. The trouble we girls have to face when we go on a picnic or trip!!! We have to take a friend (girl) along to stand guard against any Peeping Toms. Why us? Men don’t have to worry about such problems.
So is this habit a result of the difference in upbringing of the male child and the female child in Indian society? Do we encourage our sons to become shameless by allowing them to bath openly or roam around without wearing vests? Is covering up essential only for the girls? Is lajja or shame meant exclusively for women? Is decency a feminine virtue?
Why is it wrong for girls to wear low waist jeans and not for men? I don’t like seeing or knowing about the brand of brief they wear!!! Another example.. this attitude “We are men. We don’t need to hide” is so expressed in the design of Men’s bathroom (note: no personal experience..as seen in movies and asked guy friends) which is different from the Ladies’ in matters of privacy.
Of course the Govt is to blame for not providing public utilities along the road on an infrastructural basis and for not maintaining those which are provided. One factor is the so called lack of funds for such a trivial thing when we have bigger problems to deal with like price rise and poverty. Another may be that are not most of the politicians male and have the same attitude towards “shame”? Thus they feel no need to provide such a basic amenity even in slum areas. There is an old joke about this Indian habit. You can read the joke and a good rant about this habit and another famous Indian habit of spitting here.
I admit its fine when one goes long distance driving like from one city to city. But in normal circumstances why can’t you just stop at a restaurant/petrol station or hold it till you reach wherever you are going? And for God’s sake look if its for men or women & for Shame’s sake Lock The Door!!!
P.S. Some (like a very dear guy friend of mine) may think “what an absurd topic!” but its My Blog and I can rave and rant about whatever I feel like. So there!
I had a lunch invitation at a colleague’s place….non-veg lunch so only the colleagues who either eat non-veg or have no problem sitting with us had come….There was chicken and pulao on menu….Simple lunch….What struck me odd was that a colleague after he had finished eating,didn’t pick up chicken leftovers from his plate and put in a bowl to make it easy to throw it in dustbin…Keeping the plate in the washing place is simply out of question….He comes from a typical orthodox Bihari family where the males are demi-gods and are not supposed to have manners or etiquette or do anything remotely related to housework. The women are supposed to wash their clothes, clean their leftovers,look after their children while they go out and earn bread. And he tells this proudly too!!! But the point is we maybe spolit kids of our homes but when we go to someone else’s place , we should try and make the best impression.