No language can express the power, and beauty, and heroism, and majesty of a mother’s love. It shrinks not where man cowers, and grows stronger where man faints, and over wastes of worldly fortunes sends the radiance of its quenchless fidelity like a star. ~ Edwin Hubbell Chapin
Does your mother love you?
Does she care for you? Does she tend to you, comfort you, support you, provide for you, thinks for your well-being and comfort before hers ? Be the tree providing shade in the harsh sun called problems and difficulties which life gives to you?
Are you a mother and do you love your kids?
Does you care for them? Do you tend to them, comfort them, support them, provide for them, think for their well-being and comfort before yours? Be the tree providing shade in the harsh sun called problems and difficulties which life gives to your kids?
Once upon a time, Nita had tagged me to write my take on feminism that is what it means to me. Due to laziness and lack of inspiration, I had not done the tag. But now what would be a better occasion to write the post than International Women’s Day on March 8? Wikipedia defines feminism as the belief that women should have equal political, social, sexual, intellectual and economic rights to men. Before I tell what it signifies for me, I would like to point out one thing regarding feminism. As Nita has rightly said in her post , some women do take feminism to its extreme and fail to realize that they have become misandrists (those who hate men). Similarly there are men who label their acquaintances or colleagues as “feminist” while describing as if it were a bad word!! That is wrong too.
A professor in my college had been in a terrible car accident last year and his wife had died on the spot. He has a 10 year old son and a 14 year old daughter. Few days back I came to know that he had remarried after six months. I exclaimed “In just six months??” My colleague who gave the news justified that sir by saying “He has two small kids,madam”. I thought to myself “then he should have got a nanny, not a wife!!”
So I had taken a break from blogging and was busy studying. But the Vice President of BJP Mr. Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi made me come back to express my opinion. He said “kuch hamari behne..mahilayen..lipstick aur powder laga karke aur mombatti le karke aur paschimi sabhyata ke saath waha par aa karke politicians ko gaali de rahi thi. Ye theek waise hi kar rahi hai jo Jammu Kashmir me algaavadi jo hai wo bhi yehi kaam karte hai…blah blah blah”. Translation – “Some women wearing lipstick and powder have taken to streets in Mumbai and are abusing politicians, spreading dissatisfaction against the democracy. This is what terrorists are doing in Jammu and Kashmir”.You can see him commenting at this link. Sigh! One would expect politicians to be refined, educated, progressive and most importantly to have good PR skills or at least a PR officer. Though BJP has distanced itself saying “These are Naqvi’s personal views and the party had nothing to do with it”; he has found support in RSS now. On NDTV, Sharmila Tagore requested to women that they should ignore Naqvi’s comment and that he is a nobody. By making this an issue we would be giving him way too much importance. I beg to differ because there are some things which I just have to express. And by keeping quiet we let these politicians get away with such so called gaffes.
This article came in a Hindi daily on the necessity of motherhood for a woman. The author of the article is a female gynaecologist. One or two sentences in the article seemed to emphasize too much on the importance of motherhood for a woman to feel happy, healthy and to feel complete. “A woman’s body is made in such a way that childbirth keeps her happy in mind and healthy in body”; “A child is an inseparable part of woman’s body, her whole life’s spindle and aim too.”
A shocking news once again exposed the fact that how desirable sons are in Indian society. And up to what extent many prejudiced Indians are willing to go to get a male child.
At the age of 70 years, this woman went for assisted reproductive technology (ART) to conceive and has given birth to twins, one boy and one girl. The rural couple said in the interview that they have lots of property but had no “heir”. Apparently their two daughters can’t inherit it as I suppose they have done a crime by being born as girls. Challenging the limitations set by Mother Nature, a woman risks her life just to have a son because of deep rooted age old beliefs and discrimination against the girl child. The couple is so old that I doubt if they would be able to see their son reach 5th grade. After they pass away who is going to look after the kids? Their sisters or their relatives? I can’t even imagine the embarrassment the daughters must be going through. Imagine the grandchildren going to school where everyone knows their grandma has given birth to their uncle!! Its being ethically justified on the grounds that there is no maximum age limit for ART in Indian Law. Even young women conceive one after another just to get a son and end up having a huge family and losing their health, sometimes even life.
An advertisement of Pond’s White Beauty face cream is being aired on TV nowadays which shows a guy dumps his gf and 3 years later she comes to know he is a celebrity now and engaged with another celebrity girl. The ex-gf sees an ad of the product which claims to give “a white glow” (read: become fair skinned) and starts thinking…rather decides to buy it. For part 1 of the story watch the video. Now in part 2 the fiancee is shown to be a short tempered girl who cares more about her fingernails than the gifted diamond ring. The ex-gf uses this cream and becomes all fair and glowing and the guy comes to her flower shop (by chance) and can’t stop ogling at her. She is still in dilemma whether to tell him that she still loves him.
Now my point is do these Pond’s guys intend to show that an ex-bf can be won back by becoming fairer??? If that is so then should a guy who apparently dumped you for your looks be wooed back??? Even if he didn’t dump you on basis of looks , still should he be wooed back at all??? that too by becoming fairer n all??? What is with this prejudice against the dark skin in India when we are on the receiving end of racism?? I think the British rule made the Indians fascinated with white skin and we have not got over that yet. All dark or wheatish colored girls are made to think as if they are some misfits and have to apply all sorts of creams or soaps to become fair to get married or an audition or guy or whatever. Infact now guys are also being targetted and urged to become fair to woo girls!!! In arranged marriage being fair is a must criteria for the girl, no matter how the guy looks. Being very fair is a bonus. The qualifications and the nature of the girl are hidden or compromised upon after seeing her shining beauty. In fact I suspect even in an affair the girl may use such creams to keep her guy happy lest he leaves her for some more “greener pastures”.
This prejudice and discrimination irks me no end. My elder sister is wheatish colored whereas I’m fair. Since childhood I’ve listened to many comments on the difference which has made me very annoyed with people who advocate fair color. Even when I was 7 yrs old or so, I gave a piece of my mind to some 70+ old men in my mother’s village where we had gone for vacation. They had dared to say “how different Niru’s (my mom’s name) kids are in color” or words to that effect. I have seen my roommates desperately using these products. For what? for whom? Someone who will judge you and accept/reject you by your looks? So much effort for that? Does being fair give confidence? Helps you win laurels?? No I don’t think so. I admit being fair does give an edge due to all the pre-existing prejudices and morons who judge by a person’s looks but if you have it in you no one can stop you for getting what you want. Be it clearing a job interview or getting your guy or winning an Oscar. Check out Halle Berry’s Oscar acceptance speech.
As for winning back ex-bfs I don’t think a jerk like the one shown is that much of a trophy and if it was so easy as made out to be in the ad then there wouldn’t be so many heartbreaks in the world. You know the ad says “sometimes life gives you a second chance”….and the second chance is cosmetic product????? what #@#$&%!
Part 3 of the ad is awaited. First time I’m waiting for a sequel in an advertisement and curious to know what will they show ultimately.
P.S. Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless: peacocks and lilies, for instance. ~ John Ruskin, The Stones of Venice
Today is Jamai Shashthi i.e. Son-in-law day. Its a day in Bengali tradition; held every year in the Bengali month of Jaishtha; when the “Jamai” is treated with the best of the delicacies. The son-in-law is invited well in advance for the occasion. And when the daughter & son-in-law arrive, a few rituals are performed. The son-in-law also gets gifts from the mother-in-law. Basically a day to celebrate one’s son-in-law.
This got me thinking that why don’t we have a day to celebrate daughter-in-laws in India? A son-in-law who has taken away the daughter, sometimes even taking money to do that and maybe even mistreats one’s daughter is invited and showered with gifts!! And one burns the daughter-in-law if she has brought insufficient dowry!! Why don’t we celebrate the girl who has left her parents to be a daughter to the new family too and to look after one’s son and bear his child, who by the way carries your family name not hers. She even gives up her identity by adopting her husband’s surname and is not able to look after her own parents often. But she is not appreciated or celebrated with one special day just in her name. Most thankless relation I say! I demand a “Bahu” i.e. Daughter-in-law day! When I become one I too want to get gifts and eat my favorite dishes on that day. If he (my future hubby) gets it I want it too. So there!
Taking this further, why are there so many symbols an Indian girl has to wear to show she’s married? To declare she is someone else’s property or taken or back off to everyone?? There’s red bindi
I mean there should be no doubt left of an Indian women’s marital status in Indian society!!!
But what about our men? No, they don’t wear anything which may indicate their marital status except maybe their pot-bellies when in middle age!! Why this discrimination? This is one of the things I like about Christianity that they have wedding bands for both husband and wife.
Atleast one can accuse one’s husband in case he has an affair and the girl thinks he is single that “why did u take off your wedding band?” In Indian society there is no option at all!! Totally unfair I say!! What if I make my husband wear a ring with my name engraved on it ? Nice idea, eh?
Last but not the least, the tradition of Karwa Chauth and Vat Savitri Vrat which are different types of fasts Indian women are supposed to keep for the long life of their husbands and marital harmony!!! I suppose keeping them will solve problems of those women who are physically abused by drunk husbands? And a fast will ensure long life? Then why isn’t there such a fast for the husbands to keep? Do they want their wives to die early? The desire for life long companionship and efforts to achieve that, even if religious in nature, should be on both sides of the sacred bond of marriage.