You may have heard the old saying that a couple that stays together start to resemble each other. A lot of research has been done in this field and you just need to Google it to read all the articles and see all the photos. For example, University of Michigan psychologist Robert Zajonc conducted an experiment to test this phenomenon. He analyzed photographs of couples taken when they were newlyweds and photographs of the same couples taken 25 years later. Apparently, a couple who had no resemblance when they first married began to have similar, though subtle, facial features after 25 years. Research reveals that the happier the marriage, the more the couple resembles each other.
But what about their behaviour? Does it also start to become similar?
Where do I begin to tell the stories of D’s forgetfulness? And I think it is hereditary because my FIL is very forgetful and so is my SIL. Once , while on his way to the ration shop to take kerosene, my FIL came back home thrice….first for shopping bag, second time for kerosene bottle and third time for wallet!!
And now I am becoming like D. Once, I hurried up to the return bus at work to get a good seat (I like sitting only in the front or second row and near window to control my motion sickness) and settled down nicely. The bus was about to leave and my gut feeling was telling me something is missing. Then I remembered - I had come to work on my two-wheeler that day!!!
With much embarrassment I got down from the bus with all colleagues, walking up to the bus, asking me what happened.
And, again today, I repeated the same incident!!! :oops::oops: And D reminded me while I was talking to him on phone!!
Sigh! Ab mera kya hoga?
“The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
P.S. the title is in Hindi and means “someone who forgets”
Just like a scene from a Bollywood film, the last bogie of the train chugged away just as we reached the correct platform.
The in-laws had never ever missed a train in all these years!! Even my parents had never missed one. In fact my father’s greatest fear and a recurring nightmare is that he is unable to catch a train! MIL was visibly upset. All the ticket money down the drain!! Thankfully there was another train to Digha at 2 pm. (There are four trains to that place!! )
February started with a trip to Pune to celebrate my first wedding anniversary with D. Had thought of posting on that day i.e. 4th Feb but was too busy spending time in the real world I made a video on our first wedding anniversary celebration for my readers Didn’t have time to associate an audio with it.
A professor in my college had been in a terrible car accident last year and his wife had died on the spot. He has a 10 year old son and a 14 year old daughter. Few days back I came to know that he had remarried after six months. I exclaimed “In just six months??” My colleague who gave the news justified that sir by saying “He has two small kids,madam”. I thought to myself “then he should have got a nanny, not a wife!!”
Most of my friends are from my college life. After college, all went their separate ways. Everyone is getting married, some already have. The first marriage invitation I got was from someone whom I’ve known since class 2, who had gone to same college as mine and was my room mate. She sent an e-invitation i.e. a scanned copy of her marriage’s invitation card. After that, many such electronic invitations from different friends followed. Aarghhh!
“The Internet is becoming the town square for the global village of tomorrow.” So said Mr.Bill Gates. Through Internet, one is able to befriend people with similar tastes,ideas,thoughts and personalities, chat with them and form strong and sometimes everlasting relations. Some just add up people arbitrarily. People living abroad are able to talk and see their family back home with the help of webcams and Internet. Communication has become lot faster and easier with the help of e-mail. In short, the technology is bringing people and families closer as suggested by the Pew Internet and American Life Project research findings.
Today is Jamai Shashthi i.e. Son-in-law day. Its a day in Bengali tradition; held every year in the Bengali month of Jaishtha; when the “Jamai” is treated with the best of the delicacies. The son-in-law is invited well in advance for the occasion. And when the daughter & son-in-law arrive, a few rituals are performed. The son-in-law also gets gifts from the mother-in-law. Basically a day to celebrate one’s son-in-law.
This got me thinking that why don’t we have a day to celebrate daughter-in-laws in India? A son-in-law who has taken away the daughter, sometimes even taking money to do that and maybe even mistreats one’s daughter is invited and showered with gifts!! And one burns the daughter-in-law if she has brought insufficient dowry!! Why don’t we celebrate the girl who has left her parents to be a daughter to the new family too and to look after one’s son and bear his child, who by the way carries your family name not hers. She even gives up her identity by adopting her husband’s surname and is not able to look after her own parents often. But she is not appreciated or celebrated with one special day just in her name. Most thankless relation I say! I demand a “Bahu” i.e. Daughter-in-law day! When I become one I too want to get gifts and eat my favorite dishes on that day. If he (my future hubby) gets it I want it too. So there!
Taking this further, why are there so many symbols an Indian girl has to wear to show she’s married? To declare she is someone else’s property or taken or back off to everyone?? There’s red bindi
I mean there should be no doubt left of an Indian women’s marital status in Indian society!!!
But what about our men? No, they don’t wear anything which may indicate their marital status except maybe their pot-bellies when in middle age!! Why this discrimination? This is one of the things I like about Christianity that they have wedding bands for both husband and wife.
Atleast one can accuse one’s husband in case he has an affair and the girl thinks he is single that “why did u take off your wedding band?” In Indian society there is no option at all!! Totally unfair I say!! What if I make my husband wear a ring with my name engraved on it ? Nice idea, eh?
Last but not the least, the tradition of Karwa Chauth and Vat Savitri Vrat which are different types of fasts Indian women are supposed to keep for the long life of their husbands and marital harmony!!! I suppose keeping them will solve problems of those women who are physically abused by drunk husbands? And a fast will ensure long life? Then why isn’t there such a fast for the husbands to keep? Do they want their wives to die early? The desire for life long companionship and efforts to achieve that, even if religious in nature, should be on both sides of the sacred bond of marriage.
Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit, And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes, I will be brief.
~William Shakespeare, Hamlet
Please click and read the enlarged view if not clear
While browsing a matrimonial website together for obvious reasons [recent past time of my Dad, me a poor victim. Sigh!] we came across this profile. And it just reminded me of what Shakespeare said. Ahem!!…95% compatibility….Errr…Excuse me Dad for rejecting a qualified guy who is full of so much wit but it looks like I’ll be in constant struggle to meet some pre-defined high standards and will be compared at every step. Thats only one reason. No comments further….everyone is entitled to write as little or as much possible in “about me” sections of a matrimonial profile.