Tag Archive | Parenting

Piya Gaye Rangoon

D left for Netherlands just few mins ago…gone for two weeks. Thankfully my parents came to help me out during the time. Kudos to those moms who handle a baby 24×7 alone!!

I have done it only once till now when D went on a 4 day official trip to Pune in October. It went well but two weeks??

The day he had returned from Pune, it was already midnight.Keya had slept off at her usual time. At around 4.15 am she started doing regular restlessness..I tried soothing her as usual…in that she must have opened her eyes and saw someone was there. She curled up to me and started peeking ..peek and hide….peek and hide. Then she confirmed it’s a known and loved person…crawled to her dad and started giggling so much, slapping her palm on his face (her way of showing adoration), laughing. It was so touching to see. She became full awake and I told D “all yours” and slept off. 😀😀 He fed her, changed her… she slept at 6.30 am.

Let’s see how Keya responds when she sees him again after two weeks.

Perfect Mother

 

“There is no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one” ~ Jill Churchill

So the most common question whenever someone talks to you after you have a baby is “So how is motherhood”….And I feel there is an expectation to hear “Ohhh its wonderful, so charming etc etc”only..If you don’t say that there is an underlying fear of being judged and labelled as not having motherly feeling. But the truth which I am sure many moms want to say is its tiring, hectic, exhausting, challenging etc along with the happiness, joy, the high you feel. And I usually can’t fake my replies so I say “it has its own ups and downs” or I say “its different” 😀

This motherhood thing… sometimes I think the famous position in human relations, the epitome of sacrifice, love, etc etc , the person about whom stories are written, shlokas are there…the position about which legends are there…I have become one of them. Mother. It is going to be one year but it is yet to sink in. It also makes me fearful of the level of responsibility, love, sacrifice, dedication, patience etc it symbolizes….God knows if I have that in me…I don’t think so. God knows if I m doing and will do it right. Sometimes I feel I m just winging it. In what world do people get ready for motherhood?? Even after years of getting mentally ready, I think I just got ready for pregnancy and delivery, not the after part of it.

I think every mother faces this thought scores of times in a month. The utopian or lofty image of motherhood is created by media (be it old literature or new portrayals) by people raised by imperfect and human moms but to these children their mom is their mom. So unless there’s a serious psychiatric problem that creates an unsafe situation for the kids – we are all good moms. We all have it in us because motherhood is primal basic and homely. It’s not uniform… it’s unique to each family and individual. It’s not a formula of a stone dropping 1 m in vacuum, it’s variable and a continuous process of feedback and error correction like a flight.

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Whatever you have in you, with your flaws and limitations, that’s the perfect motherhood in your context. Your neighbor’s idea of a perfect mother maybe totally different. Not to mention your mother-in-law’s idea WILL BE totally different.

In fact my idea of this whole parenting thing is its like a rugby match…the rugby ball is the child, you are trying to make a touchdown or whatever they do in rugby…and all the players running towards you trying to stop you are Judgement, Unsolicited Advice, Competition, and Comparison. 😀

If you ignore all this and do what is right for a child in terms of nutrition and development – physical, emotional, behavioral and mental, then you are the perfect mother for your child. Remember you are human….not the superhuman image of mother which has been imprinted in our minds. You are allowed to be imperfect and make mistakes.

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Motherhood Insights

I was toying with the idea of compiling my tweets on motherhood as a post since many days. Now when NaBloPoMo has come along, what better way to write a quick post? 😀

So here are few of my reflections on motherhood…This may as well become a quarterly post series because the reflections and insights are going to continue for a long time!!

#1 Eyes poked,nose bitten,lips pinched, stomach trampled,back beaten,neck slobbered on,face slapped,hair pulled…. Violence mothers face!

#2 So Indigo announced “quiet zones” aka child-free zones in their flight. Whoever came up with the idea that a child-free zone can save passenger from noise of a bawling baby inside an aeroplane,has never traveled with one. Unless of course those special seats are surrounded by noise proof walls. Bose headphones would serve better.

#3 Whoever said we must chew our food 32 times before swallowing, didn’t have a baby.Mothers should win fastest eating competitions.

#4 Dear MorisonsBaby why would you stick flowers on baby shoes? Baby pulled it out. Decor should be sewed on baby stuff.

#5 I intentionally skip pages in touch-feel baby books,those which when scratched make horrible sound like chalk on board or nails on wall.

#6 Giving your marriage saree’s blouse for alteration after few years and motherhood shows how “far” you have gone. Not to mention it’s depressing.

#7 The key beings behind the whole social structure, the act of socializing etc are babies. They make you open up to neighbors, strangers, all. From not talking to neighbors & not knowing 95% of them, I’ve become quite social now.As long as there is no unsolicited advice. And maybe soon I will join the ranks of people posting coloring competition certificate their kids won in kindergarten. *Eye Roll*

#8 Doctors say sleep is very important for babies’ physical and mental health..baby’s sleep is important for mom’s health too especially mental.

#9 Baby laughing in sleep is just another one of the cutest things in life.

#10 I feel cannibalistic instinct when baby is so cute.To nibble those toes,pinch those cheeks and chomp on that butt.But you just suffice with kisses.

#11 Shake shake..bang bang…mouth!! No that’s not lyrics of any song. That’s the process steps of “how to deal with an object” by baby.

#12 Nobody knows “perfect timing” better than babies.The moment you take off diaper they pee and Nobody knows “in nick of time” better than mothers.

#13 The person who came up with lift-the-flap books idea didn’t have kids of his/her own. Or maybe those flaps are meant to be torn apart.

#14 Even a newly wedded wife doesn’t wait for husband to come home from office as eagerly as an alone stay-at-home mom.

#15 Babies are superheroes with their capes aka bibs on their front rather than on back.

#16 Goddess Durga wud have been great at feeding time….one hand to feed, one to entertain,one to hold,one to scratch a sudden itch etc. Mulling on Goddess Durga…she takes multitasking to another level.

#17 Necessity is the “mother” of all inventions not father because moms arethe ones that need to come up with new tricks to feed, change, bathe etc

#18 The original version is “Smelly mom,smelly mom, what is the baby spitting on you? Smelly mom, smelly mom It’s not your fault”

#19 Two persons can never ever have cleanliness OCD …maids and mothers. One will lose income and the other sanity.

#20 That time of life when instead of worrying about body curves, we worry about the percentile curve of length, weight & head circumference and shape!!

Parents, Daughters and Over Discipline

Parenting is a difficult task. Some tend to do it the way they have sub-consciously learned from their parents, some try out the things their parents never had, some tend to follow books on parenting, some on the basis of some fixed notions and so on. Some parents are very strict disciplinarians and some just tend to spoil their kids badly. And then some are somewhere in between. Some families have the dominating father-docile mom combination whereas some have the henpecked husband-dominating woman combination. And then some are just rightly balanced. But the point of my post is not to discuss parenting or types of parents. The point of my post is to discuss the effect of parental strictness on kids especially daughters. Why daughters? Because I don’t have much knowledge of parents’ behavior towards sons. And because I being a daughter myself can relate more to other daughters of the world. Also the incidents that inspired me to write this post happened with daughters.

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